King of Hazard Land!

Earn all Trophies in the game. "You. Are. The. MAN! (Unless you are a lady. In which case, I apologize.)"

Meet Quentin.

Meet Quentin. "DUDE!!!!!"

Beat the Snot out of Wellesley with My Bare Hands

Defeat Wally Wellesley in the final boss battle. "Like I said…"

Observe the Grenade

Kill 3 Tester employees with a single shot from the grenade launcher. "Test the grenades: check!"

Deja-Vu (All Over Again)

Defeat Sting Sniperscope yet AGAIN on Level 7. "I. Have had. Enough. Of YOU!"

Talk!

"What do you mean the interrogation feature was cut?!? Here...just take the trophy."

Your Turn

Defeat Altos Tratus. "Forecast for the next level: no more clouds."

Tramm Ride

Defeat the Tentacle Beast of Tramm. "One-two shot right to the tentacles."

Well, I Heard Them Scream

Kill 50 enemies with the Plasma Rifle. "Plasma Rifles--they're not just for Space Marines anymore."

Pure Energy

Kill 50 enemies with the Energy Pistol. "Blaster? I hardly know 'er!"

Housing Crisis

Escape from Dexter's mansion. "I gotta get me a house like THAT!"

Death Hazard

Score 20 single-shot Zombie kills. "Don't these things usually hang out in shopping malls?"

Deja-Vu

Defeat Sting Sniperscope again in Level 3. "Your present ends now. Again."

Russian to the Finish

Defeat General Neutronov. "From Hazard, With Love."

Dances With Guns

Complete both nightclub encounters without any of the dance-bots being destroyed. "Do dancing robots dream of disco sheep?"

Bedlam Basher

Kill a Bandit from behind with a melee attack. "Good for you. Coward."

Draw

Kill 50 enemies with the Dual-Wield Six-Shooters. "Now all we need is the spaghetti..."

Meat Your Maker

Destroy all of the meat in the Level 2 meat locker. "Have a beef with the owner? Steaking your claim? Beating your...hey, I can go on all day."

Head Cheese

Kill all enemies in the butcher shop with head shots. "Nice shooting! But it's not like you're PAYING for that ammo. Feel free to use more."

Stung

Defeat Sting Sniperscope. "Your present ends now."

Disco is Dead

Defeat Sonny Tang. "Sonny, YOUR ass is kicked!"

...Where Credit is Due

Watch the credits from beginning to end. "Hey...aren't they the guys who made Dead Head Fred?"

Multiplayer Master!

"What? No multiplayer? Sigh. Well...not like we can take the trophy back NOW..."

Hazard Master

Complete the game on the Maximum Hazard difficulty setting. "You've done this before, haven't you?"

Pseudo-Hazard

Complete the game on the Major Hazard difficulty setting. "Well...at least you didn't have it set to 'Easy...'"

Hazard Avoider

Complete the game on the Minor Hazard difficulty setting. "Sure you won...my GRANDMOTHER could win on 'Easy!'"

Just a Flesh Wound

Complete a level without dying. "Eight million corpses in this level...and you're not one of them."

Shield Master

Collect 20 Master Shield pickups. "It's not like I was afraid of dying...I just wanted the trophy!"

Maxx Karnage

Collect 20 Hazard pickups. "Maxx Karnage...sounds like a cool action hero name."

No Pain, No Gain

Kill an enemy with an explosive that also damages you. "That's gonna hurt me more than it hurts you. Well...maybe not quite as much."

Boom

Blow up 50 explosive objects. "Hey...I didn't pay for 'em. Why should I care?"

Uncovered

Destroy 20 destructible cover objects. "I know it's a waste of ammo...but I LOVE that de-rez effect!"

Fire Hazard

Shoot and destroy 30 fire extinguishers. "Extinguishers. They're not just for fires anymore."

Say "No" to Pots

Shoot 30 potted plants. "Look at 'em. Just sittin' there, bein' all green and stuff. They were askin' for it!"

Second Amendment

Kill at least one enemy with every available gun. "The developers put all those guns in the game for a reason..."

Blind Luck

Kill 25 enemies using blind fire. "Sorry. Didn't see you standing there."

Peekaboo...I Shot You!

Kill 50 enemies with the Sniper Rifle. "Zoom, pow! Right to the moon."

Russian Attack

Kill 50 enemies with the AK-47. "They might be socialists, but they make a pretty good gun."

Auto Dealer

Kill 50 enemies with the sub-machinegun. "You would think this one would have been automatic. Get it? Automatic? Nothing?"

Pull!

Kill 50 enemies with the shotgun. "That was a blast!"

Plink

Kill 50 enemies with the Hazard pistol. "Frag you."

Better Than One

Score two headshots with one bullet. "Eat lead...both of you!"

Head of the Class

Score 100 headshots. "Don't lose your head! Oh...too late."

Migraine

Score 50 headshots. "That's using your head!"

Headache

Score 20 headshots. "A shot in the head is worth two in the chest."

Feeling Punchy

Defeat five enemies in a row using melee combat. "Not as fast as shooting...but it sure is satisfying."

Eat FIST!

Perform 10 single-hit melee kills. "In Hazard Land, the hand can be used like a knife."

Hands-On Approach

Defeat an enemy using melee combat. "I don't need a stinkin' gun to deal with YOU!"

Straight-A Student

Complete all of the in-game tutorials. "Like I had any choice..."

Take 5.

Pause the game for the first time. "Hey...come back here and play!"

It's HAZARD TIME!

Start your first game. "Thanks for buying my game. I'm sure you'll enjoy it. --Sincerely, Matt Hazard"